Showing posts with label mental bloked. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental bloked. Show all posts

Thursday, October 31, 2013

-none-

xde tajuk tok ape yang aku cube share ari ni...aku x jumpe tajuk yang sesuai untuk tu..

tapi aku just nak share what ive been through this past few days..

its suck but its okay..i deserved it...

kadang kala pada kita bile kita rase berdiam diri tu baik tapi tidak untuk orang lain dan akhirnye kite akan kehilangan orang yang agak penting dalam idop kite..tu mistake yang aku buat bile aku rase aku ilang bestfriend aku... even tho its not okay, but i deserved that coz that was the price that i should pay for my mistake..it make me learnt..Thanks GOD for the lesson...

People made mistake so do I.. aku x kisah lah orang nak judge aku cam ne, tapi aku de prinsip yang aku pegang..aku lebih suke berdiam diri dan tak sokong mane2 pihak dari aku berpura-pura..

ye aku jage bontot aku je, cakaplah ape yang korang nak cakap aku  x kisah...tapi kalo korang di tempat aku pe yang agaknye korang buat??? mesti bende yang same...aku pikirkan perasaan sume orang..kenape aku nak menyibuk ngan masalah orang lain, kenape aku nak jadi orang tengah bile orang bergado, kenape??? kenape aku yang perlu jage perasaan semua orang??? perasaan aku??? ade sesiape kisah ke???

cam ne aku di tinggal kan sorang2, bile korang g nite walk, aku x tau pape..esok nye baru aku tau korang g mane..n korang sebagai kawan aku tak ajak aku pown, walopun ajak2 ayam ke itik ke x kisah lah..kalo korang rase aku kawan korang, korang dah tanye..bile aku sorang dlm bilik, korang xde effort pown nak datang bilik aku teman aku, xde!!! sebaliknye korang soh aku lepak bilik korang..xpe aku ikutkan, nak jage hati punye pasal..hati aku?? penah korang kisah ke???

korang leh nak cakap aku pengecut nak cakap aku jage bontot sendiri, cakap lah aku dah x kisah..setiap kali aku yang perlu jage bahase aku, perlu jage perasaan korang..tapi korang...?? ade???

aku x suke bile korang kuarkan perkataan x elok nak mengutuk orag depan2, jatuh kan air muke orang, mengamok cam org gile tanpe rase malu..aku x suke sume tu..
tapi korang still buat, korang x pikir pown ape aku rase..aku memang sedar dari dulu lagi korang mmg malu sebenarnye kawan ngan aku, fine aku x kisah..tak berbekas pown dihati aku..sikit pown tak..aku dah bersyukur sangt dah korang nak kawan ngan aku..

tapi bie korang tuduh aku cam ni tanpe pikir perasaan aku sume, aku sentap sangat..cam ni ke yang korang kate bestfriend??? aku je yang perlu jaga hati dan perasaan korang...

bile korang sorang2 aku kene datang comfort kan korang, tapi bile aku??? ade korang datang?? ade korang make effort nak tau masalah aku, nak tanye kenape aku diam, nak tanye kenape aku cam tu??ade ke??? aku sentap ngan korang selame ni korang x penah kisah..aku x penah kisah korang panggil aku bodo ke ape, aku x de hal..sebab aku anggap korang gurau. tapi ni yang aku dapat..kene marah, kene blame cam ni..x pe aku sedar and aku redha...

kenape bile aku sume nampak salah, kalo org lain sume x de pape..ermmm ntah lah aku dah malas..biar lah nak cakap ape ke, suke hati lah... aku penat nak jage hati orang, aku x dapat ape..aku kecewe ngan sume ni..

seriously aku kecewe.....

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

shed a tears..

OMG!!! spending my 48hours just to watch malay drama...

for the 1st time im really in to it..because i never really 'in' when i watch malay drama or film, dunno y, maybe malay drama or film doesn't gimme the soul juz like others...

crying, crying n crying just because of the story..
gosh never though ill be like this...
deym...
dah cam tgk citer korea sedey nye, padahal citer melayu kot..

its about 2 young people who have to get married because their parents ask them 2 do so..
the husband is so so so so good as a husband but the wife???ermm i dunno...
she just dont appreciate her spouse..just because she has boyfriend before...deym man!!!!

urghhhh cannot argue more because im not done yet..hehehe..
if u guyz wanna know what the story about, watch it in tv3 catch-up tv,ADAMAYA

Saturday, August 14, 2010

sumthing missing....

hey ooo...

already a week im officially unemployed..hahahah..what a life..
i really enjoy every moment of my life...
i left such a precious time with my family, so now i paid most all the 'debt' that i made before..hehehe

nothing can describe how i love my life now..
heheheh..

maybe i don't have thousand or million of money, but money isn't everything..money is just a responsibility for us to manage...

the meaning of wealthy is not depend on the money, the real meaning of wealth is education , happiness and family..you just have to learn from your mistake...

maybe before i work for money, but now i knew, without family, friends and any human relationship money means nothing to us..NOTHING!! ZERO!!EMPTY!!

so????? ermmm actually i have no idea what i wanna share he..so i just mumbling..hehehehe

urghhh no idea, okeh will continue later..

daaaaa....
nite...=)

Sunday, July 25, 2010

tekanan

hari ni post pasal tekanan je..
of coz its not about monday blues..
maybe its wednesday, thursday or friday blues..

it happen last week but i just know about it yesterday..

it start like this...

...........................................................................................

last week i handover my resignation letter to the company,
my boss didnt agree with it, she said thats so unfair for her..
she is being such a good employers but i treat her this way..
i dunno its unfair for her or for me..

than after that day she is outstation and she keep calling me for an hour..
probably im in da toilet n to be honest when im in da toilet, it will be HOURS...

what make me disappointed like hell, she CALLED my DAD n MOM to find me!!!!WTF!!!!

and she said she so dissapointed about me to my mom!!! WTH!!!

who is she, n who give her the right to tell everything to my mom n dad...the problem is between you n me, they re not involve..
so plz..
i never give a shit to yr family so dont bother mine!!!!

between you n me is just employers n employees, not more than that..so plz..
thats my mom n my dad and thats my privacy, dun disturb my right out of working hours..
im not standby for u 24/7 ok!!!!

i dunno where r u from but i just want to notice u, they r my family not yours, so STAY AWAY from them..
there is no employers in the WORLD bother about the employees family and they also dun call the family to find their workers unless the person is DEATH!!!..plz dun be nice, because we already know who you are...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

im totally lost!!!

lately, im so not me...

i dunno what im doing..
i dunno what im thinking..
n sometime i dunno where im standing also..

my head, brain n heart juz zero..
nothing inside..

i juz do what ever i want withount knowing what is actually that i want..

urghh...

im so deym terible lately..
messed up 24/7...

what is actually happen to me??
there is something bothering me..
but i dunno..

i just cant think..

i want to but it just cant..
gosh...

i dunno, maybe i just have to hand over the resignation letter n i think ill be better..
insyaallah..

seriusly, i dun have any will to be there anymore..
i just dun have guts to stay in the company..
i just want to switch but i dunno when,...

people blaming me, yelling at me,scolding me but i never n ever let it out..
i just quiet like death..

ya Allah, i really need your help to help me find my will to stand in front her n give the resignation letter..


she keeps me for nothing..so better if she let me go...

i just think ill definitely n terrible messed up if i stay there any longer...





mental corrupted,
ferr kamis

Monday, April 19, 2010

PROUD!!!!

walopun kekadang kite benci dengan sesuatu perkara, tapi ade sesuatu didalam sesuatu yang buat kiter proud...

cam nek dyanah (a.k.a diyanah amin) ckp, piut1 (a.k.a ferr) kamu jgn cakap benci, x elok..cakap je tak suke..tapi jgn show off sgt kamu x suke..


tau x kenape bile kiter x suke kiter x leh show off??sebab bile kiter show off kiter x suke, org lain akan rase bersalah n meluat...

and sekarang saye rase meluat bile ader seorang ni yang dahulunye menyanjung 'subject' ini tapi bile hanye satu bende kecil yang disebabkan oleh dirinye sendiri dia tempik pada org lain...perghhh sangat x boleh blah..

y on earth still ader org cam ni???ko wat cam tu seolah2 ko blame aku..n aku sangat sangat sangat sangat rase bersalah...

walaupun aku dah bagi tau kat sesorng tu tapi aku still rase bersalah...coz aku yg willing nak tolong pda permulaannye...

hadeh kenape bende ni sume jadi..n aku sangat pening kepale...

help..help..help...


satu je lah aku nak cakap, walopun aku sebenarnye ade xsuke ngan subject yang diperkatakan, tapi ade bende yang buat aku proud sebab aku penah berade disini..berkenalan dengan mereka, mengenali mereka, bersahabat, berkongsi segalanya, tanpa mengira agama,status, gender..kami sama berkongsi..itu yang buat aku proud walopun hakikatnye dalam hati ni ader sedikit kecewa, terguris ..tapi tu sume boleh ilang dengan sikit rase dihargai n kasih sayang...

lotsa luv,
ferr

Thursday, April 8, 2010

shoot!!!

bodo 1      : LP dah abes key in pown banyak keje lagi ke??? (muke x puas ati sebab aku x bukak kan news kat pc)

pandai 2    : keje dia bukan key in LP je, sume dia kene buat..Lp tu sikit je, banyak hal penting lagi yang
 dia kene settle...kalo takat LP je dia kene buat, pejam mate pun budak tu dah bole buat dah.

si bengap merangkap balachi(bermonolog): aku mmg x de keje, sume magic-magic  je siap..courier pown magic-magic je dah packing, order pown magic2 je, sume bende magic2 lah katekan, well aku kan bele antu raye!!!!


p/s: situasi ujung bulan yg buat si balachi ini ade keputusan TEKAD!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

~~HOPELESS~~

~~(-_-*)~~

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

dream~~

saye mimpi??
wakhakhakhkahakhaka..
dah lame x mimpi weh, alih2 semalam termimpi plak..
yang unexpectednye, termimpi kan someone yg xde kene ngene pown dlm idop saye..
ekekeke...

pastu trus terjage..apakah??? tapi apakah mimpinye??adoy..saye xingat lah saye mimpi pe...

orang kate kalo kiter mimpi kan someone, maknenye org tu tgh  teringat kat kiter...
WTF!!! xde maknenye weh...
mimpi tu mainan tido je...

aku slame ni tido, tetau dah siang..
cam kejap je mase tido tu...
adoyai...

sangat kasihan sama beta..
=P


its ok..its ok..
ari jumaat ni public holiday, leh lah aku tido sepuas nye...
ekekeke
bayo utang weh...
bak kate en sadik, tido pown TF juge...
TF= TIDO,FANTASTIC!!!

wakhakhakahakhakha
chow,sleepy head,

Monday, February 22, 2010

100 posts..

wakhakhakhakhahaa,
sudah ada 100posts...
rupenye saye ni seorang yang suke menulis ye??
ekekeke..
menulis jadah nye, menaip lah sengal..
tu pun x tau ka??

ok dah lupekan yang x penting..
no what, disebab kan aku pentingkan diri ari tu, n lepas kan diri sendiri atas kata lain, family aku akhirnye mengetahui chinese new year aku g mane...
ekekeke..
padan muka saya...
sekarang ni sebagai balasan, adik saye, muhammad najib telah membuat schedule sepanjang hari cuti saya setiap minggu..
EVERY WEEK DE PLAN!!!
wakhakhakhakhak.....
gilaks lah...
mmg balas dendam name nye...

bongek!!!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

true friend...

kawan...
pe maksud kawan sebenarnye??/
aku sendiri pun kengkadang tak paham...
tapi dari perspektif aku, maksud kawan ade lah seseorang yang layan kita sama rata tanpa extra feeling...
thats call friend...

with extra feeling, org akan treat kita difference way..x kisah lah cam ne pown difference nye...
tapi mmg akan sangat berbeza, sebab extra feeling leh wat seseorang jadi bias...
setuju???

x setuju x pe...
aku juz bagi pendapat je..

ye lah contoh kita berkawan, tetibe de sorang cam lebih kan sorang ni, mesti kawan lain rase terpinggir kan??
lelagi plak de kawan baik yang group nye...
lagi lah kompom terpinggir..kan??kan???

ni bukan luahan perasaan k, sbb aku de kengkawan yang sangat baik...
baik ke??
hahahha
ye ye korang memang baik sangat..
ekekeke...

banyak lagi  nak tulis sebenarnye, tapi x tau nak wat ayat cam ne, n lagi 1 t org kate aku ape plak kang..
ekekeke...
x pe lah, tu je nak bagi tau...
hehehe...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

monyet!!!!

hungga..hungga..

monkey..monkey


~~~***~~~

Friday, February 5, 2010

this is it!!!

org kate kiter x leh nak puas kan ati semua org..
tapi tu org kate...
n kenape kiter nak ikut org kate...
org yang cakap x bole, tapi kenape kiter nak folo x bole juge...
setiap pe yang berlaku kan ape yang kiter nak...
kalo kiter kate tak bole, mmg sampai bile2 tak bole...
kalo cam tu mase KFC masuk msia, sume org kate KFC mustahil leh bertahan dapat msia ni,...
ye lah juz makan ayam sahaje, leh idop ke..
tapi tengok skang, setiap umur, x kire ape bangse, tua mudda semua makan KFC...
takde sape cakap mustahil pown...

jadi as long as kiter positif, n kiter percaye setiap bende PASTI boleh, mesti boleh nye...
itu name nye kuasa minda yang kiter ada..
kuasa seorng manusia yang dianugerah kan oleh ALLAH, tapi tak semua orang nak pakai n tau nak pakai...

pergi lah memane kedai buku pown, berlambak buku cam ni ade, kuasa daya minda, law of attraction, law of universe..ish memacam lah...
tapi berapa ramai org kiter yang beli??
xde...
sume lagi suke beli novel, yang kompom2 happy ending...
hahahaha
aku pown same je, kalo g kedai buku, mesti beli novel chenta...
hahahahaha...
tapi aku tau pasal buku ni sbb bos aku soh bace....
muahahaha...
membace plak saye...

sib lah bace n leh praktik kan...
syukur...

actually pas bace buku tu aku terase nak berubah, tapi aku x tau nak start dari mane..

aku banyak sangat wat salah ngan org,sakitkan ati org, jahat nak mampos,..
erm...sampai tak tau nak balik ke pangkal jalan dah..
hadoy...
tu lah yang wat aku rungsing tetibe...
erm...

pade kengkawan aku, aku mintak mahap bebanyak kalo aku penah sakit kan ati korang, termarah, terkejam, sume lah..
korang pun tau aku cam ne kan...
senget skit..
pape pun macih le, nak kawan ngan aku,.,,,,
hehehe
macih sesangat..

sayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng korang sume...
muaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhxxxxxxxxx....

lotsa luv,
ferr

Thursday, January 28, 2010

miss~~

saye rindu kawan saye....

sigh~~

Saturday, January 23, 2010

deym~~~

gosh...sleepy head...
terlampau serabut pale sampai aku x tido dari semalam hingge ke hari ni...
ingt leh tahan lagi..
walo pun de training kat opis, slalu nye x ramai...
so aku leh lepak2 lagi...
skali full house siot..lepak jadah nye....

mmg weng dah pale aku ni...
hadoy....
!@#%$^$*%&%(*^(&*&%$^^#^%$

Saturday, January 9, 2010

songlap dari super aca blog!!!!hahaha

 segalenye tentang 2009..hehehehe...its all pengalaman bebeh..


Azizan hariz, saye curik kamunye blog jap ea...hehe
Big bro kawen..hehehe
Convocation saye!!!! saye dah grad bebeh!!
Drift kst PD, ngan umi farradilla..best gler...
Emosional..farah jadi bangang skit 2009 re tu...uish..go away plz~~~
Farah ....saye budak baik!!
Gemok!!! berat saye dah sampai 59.6KG..hadoy!!
Hafiz...kawan baru saye n kawan baik saye...=)
Immune system???
Jalan2 ngan gurlz2 saye sampai kaki cabot..
Kerang bakar...yum yum g makan ngan bee n fara azida n alin..besh nye..
Lesen kete..hehehe..baru dpt lesen kete weh...
Munchkin
Nadz,abg baru saye..hehehe
Overacting
PD, best2 best2..sangat best
Queensland..
Rezeki ade kat memane...=)
Segamat...dah tinggal kan tempat tu..tempat tu byk kenangan siot!!!
Transfer factor..
Ujung bulan!!!hadoy pale aku pening...
V???? xde idea...Vink Valoo can??hahahha
Winners network, tempat saye jumpe ramai org...=)
Xoxo..
You're my sunshine..ngeee~~
Zed zeppelin


p/s: aca kamu jgn marah saye tau..saye mmg suke curik blog org..hahahaha..ampunkan kami penunggu gua..

Friday, January 8, 2010

ape ntah name lagu ni...lagu ella...

Suka dan duka silih berganti
Bayang dirimu menghilang kini
Mengapa adakah aku bersalah

Menangis hati memanggilmu
Teringat segala sumpah janjimu
Dahulu akulah suri hidupmu


Apakah upaya
Diriku wanita
Dan yang tinggal kini
Kedukaan

Tak akan ku jadi
Pengemis cintamu
Akan kubuktikan
Kepadamu

Luka di hati kurawat sendiri
Hari berlalu musim berganti
Dan kini kau ingin
Diriku lagi


p/s: time farah sewel...muahahahah..

missing~~

pe kite wat kalo kiter rindu kat org????

kalo org tu de dlm idop kiter lagi mesti lah senang je nak bagi tau...
tapi kalo org tu dah x de, kiter kene wat cam ne???
ermm....
saye pown x tau...
yang saye tau, saye mmg suke mengarut skang ni..
muaahahahha..
chow...
bye~~

urgh............

pale aku pening lah...
so many thing to think..urghhh...
suddenly i was thinking bout further my study...
sigh...

but im not thinking to further my study in malaysia or somewhere near my place..
coz i was thinking that i juz wanna go as far as i can, till nobody can find me...
erm...what was i think???

me also dunno...
ive make so many mistake n i think this is the best time to stayed away n to think more about myself,my future..
im not a kid anymore ok..
so i have to make a very2 right decision..
but i juz dunno...

urghhh...
mess up lah cam ni...
coz i dun even can think straight..
deym!!!!

Monday, January 4, 2010

NOW!!!

now i really really  hate u!!!!

deym!!!